Tongue Tied
by Feared-Director
Summary: right... Slash. Inspired by the extended Tongue Tied on the series 2 dvd. [patiently awaits the smack-down]


a/n: I'm sorry. I said I'd leave Blue alone. But other people's subconscious dream!Rimmer is too much fun to play with. This is Cat's Backup singer dream!Rimmer. Thank you. Is this crap? Probably. But I think that I did pretty well considering what I was working with.  
  
Lights came on with several whoosh-type noises, music started from somewhere. Women, in sparkley black and white dresses started dancing. In front of him the Cat started bouncing excitedly. Rimmer looked at himself. In his red suit. With white lace cuffs.  
  
What. The. Smegging. Smeg.  
  
He wouldn't wear this. This outfit was hideous. This was a cat outfit. It wasn't in protocol, and if he ever step foot outside of.. anywhere he'd be laughed at. Rimmer heard some stifled snickered to his left.How did he hear it over the music? Hell it he knew. He looked.  
  
Lister. Lister was laughing at him. Course, Lister was also wearing the same get up.  
  
"Looking good, Listy." Rimmer teased quietly. Lister stuck out his tongue. They got into a line, and the Cat started to sing.  
  
Having a minute before he had to move, he gave Lister a short once over. This red thing, whatever it was, rather suited him. In fact, he looked really good in it. But that was Rimmer's humble opinion.  
  
The three started dancing a routine that Rimmer's body knew, while his mind didn't and he and Lister started singing back-up vocals that his mouth knew, but no other part of him did.  
  
The Cat was really into this. But it was performing. He was a Cat, they liked attention. Good. Bad. It's all the same and if used properly it always led to food. And that was what was important.  
  
And Lister. Lister looked like he was enjoying himself too. And that, for some reason, made Rimmer very happy. And so he got into the spirit.  
  
The Cat went into a bit of a solo and Lister and Rimmer were abandoned to dance together. They swung their arms and wiggled their hims in some sort of facsimile of dancing.  
  
"You think I look good then?" Lister whispered over the music and between spatters of singing. Rimmer nodded curtly and Lister grinned. "I think you look rather fetching as well."  
  
Rimmer blushed, and they got back to the performance.  
  
During the next part of the song, Rimmer idly wondered who they were performing for. He couldn't see an audience, or any cameras. Hell, there wasn't anyone except the three of them and the women dancers. Maybe this was a rehearsal?  
  
He and Lister walked off the main stage and onto a platform, where the waved their arms and wiggled their hips some more.  
  
They didn't talk. Lister had accidentally knocked his arm. They had no real desire to talk. They could touch. Hmm...  
  
Before they could fully process this idea, the had to climb down from the platform and walk across the stage a good three feet apart. Lister in front, Rimmer behind. Lister did his best to wiggle his bottom as best he could. Rimmer made a very valiant effort not to stare.  
  
They climbed onto the platform on the other side. Rimmer knocked his entire right side into Lister. Lister snickered.  
  
They strutted back onstage, hoping the song would be over soon. Rimmer had a solid presence. Lister smirked, Rimmer subtly leered. They had plans.  
  
The Cat was started his actual solo. The bit where the music went quiet(ish) and he hit the high note. Rimer and Lister had to hit high notes too. The Cat knelt in the spotlight and Lister and Rimmer shared glances.  
  
In an effort to keep their hands to themselves, Lister wrapped his arms around himself. Rimmer clenched his hands at his sides.  
  
High note came, Lister with an extremely quick glance at Rimmer grabbed his crotch for the high note and squeezed.  
  
Ow, thought Rimmer. Ow.  
  
They danced a bit more. Moved back and forth on either sides of the stage. Sang for all it was worth. They came to the bit where they were to... intertwine their legs, singing the last bit of the chorus. Behind the Cat's back Rimmer groped for Lister's hand, and found it. He felt it. The first thing he had touched with his hands in years.  
  
The hand was soft and warm. It was nowhere near as grimy and Rimmer had always figured they would be. He treasured the feeling.  
  
But, like all things, the moment ended, and they had to separate. but not for long. The lights went down, indicating the end of the song. The Cat stepped a few paces foreword, stretching. Lister and Rimmer stepped towards each other.  
  
The Cat turned, slowly, and the lights came up. Tech guys ran about unscrewing lightbulbs, the girls trekked off to the Cat's dressing room (== rowr...) and Lister and Rimmer. Lister and Rimmer were wrapped in eachother, snogging heatedly.  
  
The Cat woke up in shock and horror. He sat up, removing his eye covers, and stared at the wall in front of him. What the hell was that? 


End file.
